Mark's Sister, Helen, tells her story...
I can still remember how I found out about Marks illness. Mum had just picked a friend and me up from a concert at the Symphony hall in Birmingham, I can't remember what the concert was, my memory isn't that good! We dropped off Clare and to be perfectly honest I had completely forgotten that Mark had gone to the hospital until we were nearly home. We stopped at some traffic lights and then I asked mum how he had got on. There was silence for a while and then she said that he had tested positive and he had testicular cancer. I honestly didn't know what to say, well, what do you say? I think my response was "Oh dear"
Not the best response I know but it's the only thing that would come out! I was dreading going home and facing him. We are not the closest of families. So in a way I was relieved when mum told me to go to bed as soon as I got home, because Mark had gone for a walk with my dad and he didn't really want to face me that night.
The next day at school was difficult, I was in the Sixth form doing my A Levels, and it just so happened that that was the day when I only had last lesson but I still had to go in at the beginning of the day, so I just seemed to be sitting around doing nothing. My mum told me that Mark didn't want anyone knowing so I wasn't supposed to tell anyone -although she said that I could tell my best friend Clare. Not telling people didn't really happen because I ended up crying and my group of friends found out. It was a blessing in a way because they were all absolutely stars.
Fortunately I went to a really supportive school, and all of my teachers were wonderful. There were certain teachers who I just knew I could go and talk to if I was feeling a bit down. This was good; especially as one thing I found was that my family aren't really a talking family. As well as being an emotional support they also offered practical help, in that when Mark was in hospital having an operation, mum or dad just had to phone and I could go out of my lesson to find out what was happening.
I will apologise now for what I am about to write as for many people it may appear that I am the worst sister in the world, but I have been told to be honest so I will.
During the time when Mark was ill, I was, in a way, jealous. This is because whoever I saw, the first thing they would say was: "How's Mark?"
This really annoyed me because I had my own problems and people never seemed to care what I was going through it was always Mark, Mark, Mark. I feel bad now but I can imagine that people going through the same thing with a sibling may feel the same way.
Another thing that annoyed me was that, as I said before, my family never really spoke about what was happening. They seemed to keep everything to themselves, although I expect Mark could talk to Frances, and mum and dad could talk to each other. However, that left me with no one and I didn't want to hassle mum and dad with my problems.
I think I can honestly say that I wouldn't have made it through all of this without my friends; they were absolutely brilliant because they were always there whenever I needed to chat. I couldn't have done it without the support of the teachers at my school either.
All I can say to those of you who have brothers who are going through this, is there is noneed to go through it on your own. You need people to talk to otherwise you will go mad.Although you may not be the one who is ill you are still affected.
You can contact me by filling in the form below:-